i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
