Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
