i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
