it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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