Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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