i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
