good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
