KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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