he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
