im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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