watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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