Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
