I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just found a bag of teeth...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
