after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
