let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
