I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
