It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
