So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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