I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
