thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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