sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
