how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
