It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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