***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
