don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
