id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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