is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
