never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
40s are totally the cure
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
