it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
