Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
