He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
