I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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