Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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