Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
