a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
