? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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