; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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