Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
