Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
