when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
