so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
