it was like his penis was on wheels.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
