you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
