first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
of course. lets lasso hookers.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
