just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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