Your tits are I can't wait for
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
