He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
