I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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