last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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