why didn't you poke me back
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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